Cookie jar
by Willakarra
Summary: The exploits of the batfamily as they all try to get to the ultimate prize: THE COOKIE JAR!(Rated because I'm paranoid.) HIATUS. Read my profile for more info.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Nightwing and Robin

Disclaimer (um… I forgot to put one on my other story, you got him a WHAT? So this is for both of them.): If I owned DC, what the hell am I doing on fanfiction?

This mission was bordering impossible. Nightwing looked around cautiously, and then signaled to Robin to wait. Nightwing jumped over a spot that he was sure to be trapped- and got caught by the real trap, getting super glued to the floor.

"Robin, you're on your own. I know this is your first time trying to do this mission, but I _think_ you can do it."

"Whatever," Tim muttered.

Their mission was to get to the jar… The jar… of COOKIES! Alfred had made them last night, and specifically said they were not to be taken until morning. Basically, he invited everyone to try to steal them. Challenge accepted. Nightwing and Robin were the first ones to try their luck, but this was Tim's first cookie jar raid, and he had the least experience of all of them.

Tim tossed a batarang at a spot on the floor, immediately it was covered by cookie dough.

"What the COOKIE DOUGH? HE USED COOKIE DOUGH FOR A TRAP INSTEAD OF FOR MAKING EVEN MORE COOKIES?" Dick exclaimed in outrage, unable to bear the thought of cookie dough, just _wasted_ by Alfred.

Tim hissed "Shut up, Dick. If Alfred hears…"

Both knew if they were caught trying to steal cookies, Alfred would move them, and they'd have to start all over again.

Tim threw baby powder in between him and the cookie jar. Immediately, 20 lasers became visible. Using a grappling hook, he went over 5 of them, swung around 10 more, ducked 2, and managed to avoid hitting the remaining three. Robin landed safely, only a foot away from the cookie jar- when a beam clocked him on the head. Nightwing groaned "Timmy? I think you have a concussion."

Tim somehow got up, and started to pathetically drag himself a bit closer to the jar, all thoughts of traps that would catch him forgotten. By some miracle, he avoided all of the traps, and pulled himself up to the counter. Opening the jar, he snatched 10 cookies, biting one immediately.

"I, I can't believe it! Timmy's doing it, he's actually-

"OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Tim screamed, learning the hard way that the cookie jar was a fake, and all of the 'cookies' were rocks. Dick managed to cut himself down, and immediately took off the costumes they were wearing and took Tim to Gotham General hospital for his teeth.

Tim learned an important lesson that day: NEVER try to eat Alfred's cookies unless you knew they were cookies beforehand. Otherwise, you might find a need for a really good dentist.

That one trick took Tim _and _Dick out of commission for the rest of the night, leaving the cookies for someone else to attempt to steal them and fail massively.

A/N: This is NOT a oneshot. I will be updating later. The next chapter will be about Oracle (assisted by Black Canary) trying to get the cookies. Jason, Huntress, and Bruce will probably have their own chappies.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**A/N: If you're a bit confused about how Oracle knows about the cookies and what happened to Dick and Tim, she's ORACLE. She probably hacked the security cameras or something. I put Canary in because she's part of the Birds of Prey, a group Oracle (seems to at least) leads.**

**Disclaimer: OOOO BATMAN?**

**Batman: Tell them.**

**Me: OK! I don't own Batman, I don't own batman, and for the last time, I don't own Batman.**

Oracle frowned. Alfred had moved the traps after Tim and Dick's failure, before going to check on them. At least he wouldn't bother them. Alfred had turned off the security cameras, however. Oracle had no idea where he put the traps.

Black Canary didn't understand all the fuss about the cookies. Everyone in the batfamily was acting like they were heavenly food. But she did owe Oracle, and had been promised half of the cookies, which combined was enough.

Oracle had Canary get some weights. Taking them, she each one towards the cookie jar. One fell short of it, and into a pit, another was caught by superglue, another exploded on hitting the jar and the last one went long. Oracle wrote down where, and what each trap was. Continuing to use the weights, Oracle thought she had a path straight to the jar. But Black Canary didn't have enough space to weave through the path. And besides, Alfred probably had half of the traps only targeting living people, so it was likely that that path wouldn't work.

Canary asked Oracle "How about I just go, and if I get caught, we call in the rest of the birds of prey. It would make it a lot easier."

Oracle smiled, "Canary, do you think that you _wouldn't_ get caught? I only triggered about a quarter of the traps here."

Oracle actually thought it was more like half, but she wanted to discourage Dinah, that plan would just get her caught, then the Birds of Prey would have to come in, and it was easier with smaller amounts of people trying to get to the infamous jar.

Canary considered how many traps Oracle had triggered and had thought that was more than a little extreme to protect a jar of cookies.

Oracle told Dinah "The cameras will be highlighting certain points at my command. This will tell you where to step. Be careful. Any of the spots could still be trapped, sometimes; I think Alfred is smarter than any of us."

"He's that good at guarding that cookie jar?"

"He's that good."

Canary shuddered, and went to the first spot, then by instinct jumped back, several gallons of water fell where she used to be standing and an alarm went off.

Oracle swore, and then yelled at Canary "Go! Hurry! Alfred will be here in 20 minutes. This is our last chance!"

Canary took off, the second, third and fourth spots were not trapped, but a pit opened at the 5th spot that Dinah narrowly caught the edge of, and she was only halfway there. Dinah managed to regain here balance- to be absolutely drenched by at least 10 gallons of water. Struggling on, she managed to get to the 9th spot through a series of near misses. Then on the tenth spot, the ultimate trap was sprung. She was covered by cookie dough that she couldn't dodge because her feet had just been superglued to the floor. Knocked down, and drenched with water, Dinah was unable to stop two planks that hit her in the skull, hard. Dinah was clearly out of the game.

Oracle knew what had to be done. She ran, hoping not to get caught. Black Canary was beyond saving, the only thing Oracle could do was to run, and later visit Canary's hospital bed.

When Alfred came back, he took Canary to Dr. Leslie Thompson. When Oracle visited her, the first thing Dinah asked was: "You really think those cookies are worth this."

The answer, of course, was yes.

**A/N: Poor Canary. xD, the score on Cookie jar is: Alfred:2, Tim and Dick:0, Dinah and Babs:0. Me:3(look at my profile page, it'll tell you why.)**

**Next chappie: either Jason or Huntress. Dunno.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**A/N: This is my first chapter in POVS. I'm trying to see if this way of writing is more natural for me. Review me if you like it more, please**

Jason's POV

I had come here to bust up a gang selling drugs to kids. The ****** actually sell drugs to kids. After I got here though, Huntress showed up. She isn't bad, but I had to shoot out a couple of guys who were going to get her.

Oh, no. Dick, you _had_ to call right when I was trying to stay in the shadows. Dang it! Stupid Circus boy wrecked my chances of picking them off one by one. Ah, well. I'll just step out and take the call. It _better_ be important.

Dick's POV

"Come ON, Jason, pick up your phone! It's not like you're shooting a drug gang right now, is it? (Oh, the irony, I just couldn't resist.)

Finally, Jason picked it up. "Dick, I'm busy."

"Busy doing what? Killing a gang selling drugs to kid-''

"How the hell are you and B watching all of my moves?"

I stopped for a moment, realized that he must have actually been doing that and then told him the news, "Alfred's made cookies, and we can't have them until tomorrow. Dinah and Tim are in the hospital after trying to get to the jar."

"…. I'm on my way now."

Hanging up, I smiled. If Jason failed (like the rest of us did) then all of the Robins would be at the hospital! We could have a reunion! We could party! Now, I just have to wait for Jason to try his luck at the Cookie Jar.

Jason's POV

Who cares if the replacement and Canary were beaten? I could probably get to the jar with my eyes closed, no guns, and hands tied together! THIS WOULD BE (opens door to kitchen) easy. Oh boy. There are a bunch of traps all over the place. Alfred must REALLY not want Bruce or someone else to get the cookies. Ummmmmmm, maybe I should get more guns. A lot more guns. I'll probably need a tank, too.

Dick was calling me again. "Hi, chicken! Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk!"

"What the hell are you talking about circus boy?"

"We're all watching from the cameras. You're chickening out! Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Baw-"

I am NOT chickening out! I'm definitely not a chicken! I can get across the kitchen. I, um, just want to make sure it's safe first.

What the ****? It's that **** phone again. Huh, I don't recognize it, though I think I should…

"Hello?"

"Jason, this is Tim. Just so you know, if you get to the cookies, they might be rocks. I don't know if Alfred put the cookies back in the jar, or if the rocks are still there. Bye."

Ok, that must be a record. Something helpful said by the replacement. I'm _so_ touched.

Ok, I'll do it now. I'm ready, I'm DEFINITELY ready. Where's that gun again?

Tim's POV

Jason had his mouth open like a fish. I know Dick has some ulterior motive, but I think it'll only work if Jason gets stuck in the hospital like us. So I might have to help Hood.

Finally, he looked like he was going to try to get to the jar(I've stalled the entire story!) and fired bullets randomly. Immediately, there were several explosions. Jason then just ran forward, shooting in front of him. It worked- right up to when he got his boots stuck in superglue.

Jason's POV

What the ****? Stupid superglue, now I have to take off my boots. CURSE YOU!

Now, same strategy! Running forward while shooting, it's foolproof.

"Now All I have to do i-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Dick's POV

Yes! It worked! He's caught by a rope and now- OOH! Ouch! Ok, that looks like it really hurts, he's being wacked by two planks, now they're sandwiching him, oh, wait. Oh boy. Here comes a big- BOOOM

Ok, Jason's out cold. Now, we can party, and have a reunion! YAY!

**A/N: Did you like this more than the other chappies? Chapter 4 will either be Catwoman or Huntress, if it's Huntress, she'll have hacked the line between Dick and Jason.**

**MASSIVE surprise in 8 days. **

**New: Hi guys. I finished this on the fourth, but never sent it in because I had an accident. I broke my right pinky. This will mean slower updates. May not update until the Thirteenth. Sorry guys. Willakarra, signing out.**


	4. Chapter 4

Cookie Jar, Chapter 4

**A/N: Trying to make up for the last two days. And, I decided that I didn't know huntress or Catwoman enough, so this one is about Spoiler, then Batgirl, then Bruce. (Sneak peak at Bruce's chapter) After Bruce's, only one chapter left!**

Bruce POV

I watched as Cassandra was taken to the hospital. All three Robins, past and current, along with Black Canary, Batgirl, Oracle, and Spoiler had been taken down. I was the only one who hadn't tried. This would take careful planning…..

**A/N: There's the sneak peek. Disclaimer time**

**Disclaimer: If I owned DC comics, I would own Cedar point too with the money I make. Do you think that if I owned Cedar point, I'd have the time to be typing this out?**

Stephanie's POV

It was a beautiful night in Gotham. The feeling of the air as it rushed by my head, the s- *ding, ding, ding* I need a new cell phone ringtone. This better be good, Dick.

"What is it, Nightwing?"

"Steph, I have just 3 words for you. Alfred. Made. Cookies."

"….. On my way."

Alfred's COOKIES? Dick would never tell me that unless he couldn't get to them, so they're in Alfred's Cookie Jar, which is booby trapped, and no one got to them yet. That means…. Tim is hurt. Why does my boyfriend always end up in the hospital? I'll stop by there, then head to the manor.

- This is a timeskip-

Tim POV

"Bye Steph!"

"Bye Tim!"

I was trying to say goodbye to my girlfriend, but Dick's face is in the road!

"Hey Tim, you want to get back to playing Monopoly?"

"No. I want to watch Steph get to the Cookies."

**A/N: I know, you're mad that half of this is me talking, but now YOU get to pick how Steph is stopped before she gets to the cookies. I want at least 5 reviews before the next chappie. Also taking requests for how Cass is stopped.**


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